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Running of the Brides
Celebrity…we were on all the major news networks and were even live in Orlando, Philly and Austin.
“Let us in! Let us in!” chants a team in pink shirts that read “Bride of Mayhem” and “Maid of Mayhem.” Father of Mayhem utters, “Oy vey,” before whoosh, the doors open and he sprints toward the racks.
http://www.nbc4.com/slideshow/news/9629226/detail.html?qs=;s=6;w=320
Touchy Feely, Close Talking, Mouth Breathing Puppy…
So as promised…I know i’m really late. Allright…here goes.
My manager hired this kid to be our LDP (Leadership Development Program) It’s a development program to help the younger crowd move up quickly in the company. So she hired this guy and we are stuck with him for a full 6 months. No one in my department volunteered to be his budy (keep in mind no one knew him yet). I told her if no one else came forward, i guessed i would be the buddy…I will never do this again. I have been the buddy or trainer for almost every new employee in the past two years. i will never do it again. i have been scarred for life after this one.
His first day, was the day reference in the truancy post…I was not at work that day. My manager was in a class that day…so neither of us were available. i came in on Tuesday and met the puppy…We’ll just call him a puppy (that is what he reminds of, the kind that tries to hump your leg and no matter what you do he won’t go away). So the first day i wasn’t totally disturbed by him. i mean he was new and sometimes people act strange on their first couple of days, nerves and all…ok, well the weirdness didn’t go away. it has now been like 3 weeks. he loves to touch, he loves to get right in your face and talk, comes into the office sits down in a chair…doesn’t leave the chair where it’s supposed to be, pulls it so close he is litterally touching me and i can’t move. And to top it all off, he’s a mouth breather.
Last week he followed me into my office after a meeting and proceeded to ask me how i thought the meeting went, i said, “well, you were there, how do you think it went?!?!” in his disgustingly eager way, he missed the sarcasm. My manager came in and he asked her the same thing…ultimately she said that i needed a break and to go take a break…then she left my office…he kept standing there as i was getting a ciggarette out and he said “are you going to take a break? I could really use a break.” I just looked at him and said, “I am going to take a break, i’m going to get one of my friends.” I walked away and had to duck into the ladies room to get away from him.
Anyone not feel the puppy is a freak?!?! he still has not gotten the point. My manager was teasing me and said she was going to put it in my objectives as part of my job to turn him into a better employee. She’s absolutely insane! She was kidding.
So I went online and tried to find a picture of him at work, but it’s not published yet…couldn’t find him on myspace either. i did however do a search of nerds in google image and i found the picture below…
FYI…I have other updates to make, but now it’s too late. Enjoy…and any thoughts of how to get rid of the puppy would be greatly appreciated!
Quick update on my life…
First and formost: Last week…
we all know what happened Monday…if you don’t, ummm read the post if you have the password. Stayed at Stacie’s part of the week (I think that’s old news too) I had a blast!
Worked some insane hours. Wednesday I worked a 16 hour day and woke up Thursday with only a few hours of sleep and decided to go to work in jeans. i didn’t wash my hair either so it was a blah day. I had to be in early for a meeting with my manager and i had a deadline to meet so it was absolutely insane. We started the meeting talking about how my forecasting was going and how i stayed up all night working on it and whatnot. Then she said close the door. I was thinking, OMG…i don’t know what i did to be in trouble, but here goes…I only thought this because she got all serious. Then she said something to the effect of, I know it doesn’t help much, but hopefully it will help some. This has been a long time coming and i know it’s over due but i just wanted you to know how much i appreciate you. She gave me a promotion! Finally!!! YES, I am now a level 2 (it only took 3 years and nearly going insane and killing myself at work)
So that is my big news from last week. Friday night i hung out at home with Greg. Saturday I did laundry all day and slept. Got up and showered and went up to Jeremy’s. We went to Best Buy, Borders, and Game Stop. We also went out to dinner at Barley and Hops. I love that place. Then Sunday we got up and both went tanning then i went home to change clothes, went back up to his house and we went to Hagerstown shopping.
Why Hagerstown you ask??? Well, it’s a nice mall. I ordered some stuff from Victoria’s Secret Catalog last weekend and wanted to exchange 2 of the items. I thought i could return them to the store. WRONG! (Insert frustrating rant here). Seriously, they told me they were two different companies even though you can use the same credit card in the store as you can use online and through the cataloge. i was so pissed! I still managed to get 5 new pairs of cottons and a new strapless and a thong to match. We also went to Hot Topic (a favorite store). Jeremy bought me a Lucky 13 T-shirt and some hair barettes and a key chain and a pink skull and crossbone patch. we went out to a late lunch then we went to an orchard near my parents house to buy some fruit. it is so good! we got white peaches, yellow peaches, nectarines and apricots. i love fruit.
This week has been insane already. Monday was OMG, just yesterday! I went to work a little late because i overslept. I left a half hour early to go to my parents house for dinner. Dawn, Shawn and Jacob came over…we had a cookout inside. it was good. nice to be with my mom and milt mostly. I came home and worked until 3:3o in the morning. needless to say today i’ve been wasted tired. didn’t help that i woke up with cramps this morning. I am blaming my office mate Danielle. She is blaming me…i’m a week early and she’s a week late. i think there must be someone else we can blame.
going to bed now….need drugs and sleep.
Stay tuned to an interesting blog about my newest stalker…The Close Talker (duh duh DUHHHHHHHHHHH)
Saturday night..For Real
Ok…now that i’ve re-read my Saturday Part 1 post, I know where I left off.
Greg and I were in the kitchen after I posted last and heard the girl say she didn’t like the music we were listening too. Jeff got up and turned if off…didn’t ask, just turned it off. How rude. especially since normally he loves hip hop. so Strike 1, he can’t be himself around her…Greg went and turned it back on…something obnoxious and filled with perversion and curse words…we proceeded to stand in the kitchen and sing loudly the “best” lyrics. We went outside to smoke and I said I can’t take this…he can’t even be himself. Greg said he knew it was rediculous and she was nasty! Shortly after that I said “Jeff…Guess what time it is…” he said, “Melisser…what time is it?” I naturally said “SHOT TIME” he wined back “I don’t want a shot” and I mean wined. like a little kid. I looked at Greg and said, “Wow, that was winey.” Greg told him to “Stop Fuckin Wining”.
So then I went back to my room to start getting ready. I curled my hair. The original intention was to flip it up, but it’s aparently too long to flip at this point so it just ended up kind of curly at the bottom. Looked really good though. I came out when it was half way done and Jeff said “Wow, you are getting all dolled up to go to Frederick?” I said, “I always get dolled up to out, why not?” I’m guessing he was thinking about his trailer park girlfriend who was wearing dirty jeans with joint compound smeared all over them, a nasty t-shirt and bad tennis shoes…on top was a way to big hoody and a red jacket. she didn’t match at all and her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed or washed for that matter in for ever! EWWW is all I can say.
So anyways…Greg’s sister Kim arrived and shortly after that I called Bryan to see where he was. He said he’d meet me at the liquor store. I needed to get out of the house and away from trailer so I said fine. Jumped in the car and met him and lil B at the store. We got a bottle of Patron Silver for shots, a bottle of wine, and some beer, then picked up a pizza and smokes. When we got back I finished getting dressed with the help of the B’s. I ended up wearing a pair of fitted flair jeans and a black cashmere turtleneck sweater with a super long shaggy sequened cream scarf tied around my wast. It was cute…oh and black socks with black shoes or course.
**Just a note…three things i forgot to say earlier…Greg’s sister asked Sam how her and Jeff met. She said, oh he picked me up at firestones, we were both pretty drunk. Kim replied with, “I guess you looked pretty good to each other at that point in time.” I thought i was hilarious. I almost peed my pants. Lil B kept calling her “ManPrice” her last name is Price. He knows her from working at the hospital. He kept calling her that to her face and telling her that they might have to fight later. I thought it was so funny. Jeff made the comment that he stays at Sam’s house sometimes. Greg and I looked at each and just rolled our eyes. Jeff left shortly after that to go pick up Sam. We were talking about it later and Greg said he knew for a fact that Jeff had never stayed there before. I just found it interesting…I knew it wasn’t true, but why would he feel the need to make something up that everyone knew was bullshit?**
Then the drinking really began. A couple of shots of patron and two cape cods, semi strong and we were ready to leave the house. Greg was wasted already. I think we were all semi wasted.
Greg’s sister Kim drove him, I drove the two Bryans and Jeff drove his girl. Oh yeah and Kurt, Jeff’s roommate had also come up…he drove himself. I had to go to get gas so we got to the bar (Firestones) after everyone but Kurt. I paid cover for me and the bryans since they picked up the pizza. then bought a round of drinks for Greg, Kim and myself. I walked up and got service at the bar immediately. Bryan couldn’t get any service, so i walked over, took his money and went back to the bar. As soon as the bartender saw me, he came back and took the order for the other drinks. I was amused. So Kurt joined us and i got his cover because he had no cash. he said he get me a drink or two later. we made our way over to everyone else. Jeff was standing there with Trailer and neither of them had a drink. Apparently Jeff gave Greg some money to go get drinks but he didn’t do it…too drunk to remember probably. So Jeff drank some of my drink which was super strong and made with rail vodka. EWWWWWWWWWW. But it kicked in my drunkeness a little more. We finished that drink and decided to leave and go to Old Town Tavern. It’s a place that i won’t normally go, but since it was Greg’s birthday i went. Me, Greg, Kim and the bryans…the rest of the gang didn’t realize that we were leaving. Greg went back in to tell them that we were going to old town so that they didn’t think we bailed on them.
At old town…we went straight to the back of the bar where a terrible cover band was playing and ordered drinks and shots. Kim wouldn’t take her shot so we got this guy Mathis that Bryan knew to take it for her. He didn’t leave…he kept coming back asking absurd questions like “Do you know any bisexual girls?” of course my comment was “Yes, but they are all stippers!” I guess that comment went over well. He told Bryan that he liked me. Anyways enough about him…he left eventually. I continued to get more wasted. At some point in time i was dancing with Jeff, then with Kurt then I got pulled up in front of the band by some girl to dance. I lasted a few minutes before going back for another drink…This guy comes over and buys Kim and I a shot. Actually several shots. He claimed he was german…he knew maybe three german words. then he was begging for our phone numbers…he said he just moved to the area and was lonely. Personally I thought he was gay…he had the look to him. Jeff and Trailer decided to leave. I guess he was staying with her. He said buy to everyone then just stood there in front of me, she was standing right behind him. He stepped away and grabbed me in a “warm embrace” **LMAO** no, really he grabbed me for a hug and wouldn’t let go. i finally had to say, “Ok Jeff…good bye. have a good night and be careful.” he left…we closed the bar down and then we left.
Bryan and Brian started argueing as soon as we got in the car. They argued the whole way home. We stopped at sheetz then went home. When we got home, Kim was leaving. I gave her a hug and she said she’d come up again soon that she had a really great time. She’s great, her personality matches ours perfectly…she’s great and sarcastic. Anyways, we went downstairs and i went out to smoke a cigarette before going to bed. When i was out there i heard shouting and the next thing i knew, they were fighting…physically fighting. I could hear it and see that someone was getting slammed up against the back door. I eventually went inside when the noise quieted down. Bryan was bleeding from the head and hand and lil B had left with Bryan’s truck. I cleaned up Bryan’s cuts and called lil B to try to get him to come back and wait until morning to leave because he was really, really wasted. He said no and Bryan yelled in the background that he hoped he hit a tree and died. I mean it was bad. I was so embarassed.
I went back to my room and posted the post from 3am sunday morning. It took forever because i was wasted as well. I passed out. Woke up the next morning at like 7:30. I didn’t feel too bad while i was still laying in bed, but once i got up and started moving around, i realized that i was still semi drunk. I got Bryan to go to Starbucks with me where i got a iced green tea classic as well as a triple M. I wasn’t sure what i wanted but i was thirsty and needed caffeine. I took Bryan home and went up to my mom’s house so that I could attend a baby shower at 3 that afternoon. I proceeded to sober up and started feeling like total ASS! The loud lady family members that showed up for the shower didn’t help matters. I left the party at 4 and went home to shower then went to Jeremy’s. He took me to best buy to get some new dvd’s then took me out to dinner at applebees. It was good. I think he apologized for the way he acted on Friday night 5 or 6 more times. We went home and watched Walk the Line. I fell asleep and he just held me. Let me sleep in some this morning. He got up early and made me lunch for the day. He then turned the shower on so it would be hot and helped me out of bed. Asked if i slept ok and if i felt ok. I felt ok. Went to work…worked 10 hours and now i’m here…i’m sure there are other things i could post about, and i’m sure i will eventually, but that’s it for now. my fingers are getting tired!
